What If Stress Doesn’t Work the Way We Think It Does?
We talk a lot about preventing stress and managing stress. But what if the way we think about stress is part of the problem?
As National Stress Awareness Day is upon us, the conversation around workplace stress is turning increasingly towards prevention.
Traditionally, organisations have focused on helping employees manage stress once it arises, through resilience training, wellbeing initiatives and coping strategies. Now, the emphasis is shifting towards addressing the root causes: excessive workloads, poor management, insufficient resources and unhealthy working environments.
Both approaches matter. But they share an underlying assumption: that our circumstances are what create our stress.
Managing stress once it arises can feel like firefighting. Prevention, meanwhile, can become an endless game of whack-a-mole, trying to anticipate and eliminate every possible source of stress. We all share fundamental human needs, but our individual values, expectations and priorities can be remarkably different. Creating a workplace that meets everyone’s needs, all of the time, is a near-impossible task.
It’s time to question our assumption that stress is caused by the world around us.
What’s happening behind the scenes?
Our stress response is an extraordinary survival mechanism. When our brain perceives a threat, it activates physiological changes designed to protect us, preparing the body for action.
But interestingly, the threat doesn’t have to be physically present, or even real.
Think about watching a scary film, or, in my case, getting completely caught up in the tension of The Traitors. Your heart races, your muscles tense, you might even find yourself holding your breath. You’re perfectly safe on the sofa, but your body is responding to what your mind is experiencing.
The same thing can happen when we replay an upsetting memory or imagine a difficult conversation that hasn’t happened yet. Our brains are constantly interpreting information, drawing on memories, beliefs and expectations to make sense of the world.
Neuroscientist Michael Gazzaniga’s research into the brain’s left hemisphere identified what he called the interpreter, a mechanism involved in constructing explanations and making sense of our experiences. It’s a fascinating illustration of how our minds create meaning from the information available to us, even when those explanations aren’t entirely accurate.
Psychological research into cognitive appraisal also demonstrates how our interpretation of a situation influences our emotional and physiological response. In other words, how we think about or perceive a situation plays a significant role in how we feel and how our body responds.
But surely some situations really are stressful?
It’s easy to challenge the idea that our circumstances create our stress in theory. But when we’re faced with difficult situations at work, that assumption can feel undeniably true.
Imagine you’ve worked hard on a project, put in extra hours and delivered a great result. But when your manager presents the work to senior leadership, they take the credit without acknowledging your contribution. You feel angry, undervalued and resentful. It seems obvious that your manager’s behaviour has made you feel this way.
But look a little closer.
Perhaps fairness is one of your strongest values. Recognition, autonomy and feeling valued are important needs for you. When you perceive those things to be threatened, it’s understandable that you experience a strong emotional reaction.
Now imagine someone else in exactly the same situation. Their values might centre more around connection and enjoyment, with a greater need for harmony and positive relationships. They may feel briefly disappointed but place little importance on who receives the credit, particularly if they’re pleased with the outcome and enjoyed the work.
Same situation. Very different experience.
The difference in how these two people experience it tells us something important: We don’t simply experience what’s happening around us. We experience our interpretation of it.
What difference could understanding this make?
When we believe that other people and circumstances are responsible for how we feel, we can easily find ourselves at their mercy. We need our manager to recognise us, our colleague to behave differently or our circumstances to improve before we can feel better.
But recognising the role of our own thinking can change that. Something that felt personal might no longer seem quite so personal. A problem that appeared overwhelming might suddenly look manageable.
The situation hasn’t necessarily changed. But our experience of it has.
Of course, this doesn’t mean accepting unreasonable demands or ignoring genuine problems. Organisations still have a responsibility to provide healthy working environments and support their employees.
But alongside prevention and management, there’s a third approach worth exploring: understanding how our psychological experience works. Maybe that’s been the missing piece of the workplace stress conversation all along.
Understanding where our experience of stress comes from
At Work Wellbeing’s Understanding Our Experience of Stress workshop explores this different perspective in an engaging, interactive session. It provides an opportunity to rethink familiar assumptions about stress and gain an understanding that can transform how we experience life and work.
